Washington DC -- Vice President, Executive Branch Czar, and acting Superintendent of Arlington National Cemetery Dick Cheney announced today that that since there are no longer any Americans employed in the armed services, the cemetery will be closed for business as of the 30th of next month and will be renovated as the Iraqi Freedom National Theme Park.
This follows the recent final announcement of the outsourcing of all armed services contracts (http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s2i3986).
"The kids will have a grand time at the new theme park," said Mr. Cheney. There will be miniature pipelines for the kiddies to blow up, and every parent will be able to provide obedience re-training for all their teenage children at the Abu Ghraib recreation. A photo concession is one of the hotly contested businesses being auctioned next week at the Federal Reserve's beige book meeting.
The theme park will also have a large fleet of bumper cars outfitted as tanks, and all visitors will have a chance to drive them though dusty roads with implanted roadside bombs. Hollywood stunt men and women dressed as terrorists will provide excitement by shooting rocket propelled grenades at the pseudo-tanks. "Just good clean fun," said Mr. Cheney.