Written by Tragic Rabbit
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Friday, 5 September 2008

image for McCain accidentally repeats Obama's acceptance speech, no one notices
McCain promises to continue to back 'Family Values'.

In the balloon-filled finale of the 2008 Republican Convention, presidential candidate McCain delivered a mildly stirring acceptance speech to a mostly white, well-heeled audience while using Obama's notes and repeating many of Obama's promises, though with less vigor than the Democratic presidential candidate had done last week.

After promising to back solar energy, wind power, God and bipartisan solidarity inside the Beltway, he became visibly confused, finally lapsing into yet another story from his years as a Hanoi POW. His handlers on the sidelines grew worried but were unable to act as dragging a presidential candidate from the podium while cameras are running is notoriously difficult.

Flagging towards the end of his acceptance speech, candidate McCain seemed to visibly slow down, even walking in 'slo-mo' across the stage afterward when greeting delegates.

Sources close to the McCain campaign acknowledge that their candidate's battery charge ran out about a third-way into his acceptance speech but assure supporters that they will be using more reliable lithium batteries from outsourced Chinese sweatshops in the future.

McCain's speech closed a convention that hopes to elect the first female vice president, the high-heeled wasp-tongued governor Sarah Palin, who spoke several times during the convention. This was essential as few Americans have visited Alaska and many voters can't - or can't be bothered to - find it on a map.

Besides choosing John McCain officially as the Republican candidate, the convention also solidified by acclamation the GOP's exclusive hold on God, Jesus, apple pie and the American flag.

Jesus Christ could not be reached for comment.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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