High anticipation turns to bitterness as much-hyped Hurricane Gustav crawls ashore New Orleans an anemic category 3, leading many to write off this year's hurricane season.
"All of us in the sporting world had high anticipation for Gustav," said Reindeer Catamov, chief executive officer of the Las Vegas-based Bookies-R-Us. "It looks like we're going to have to wait until next year to see if hurricane season can actually become the global phenomenon it should be."
Gustav's failure at any significant destruction on an area still recovering is widely considered an example of the single problem keeping hurricane season in the shadows of Major League Baseball, Brittany Spears and incest as one of America's favorite ways of ignoring their miserably pointless lives.
"Until we make it big in the U.S.A, we have no chance of getting to the world stage," continued Catamov. "It's just so sad."
Catamov was not alone in his frustrations.
"We need another way of deriving revenue from thin air," said Rupert Murdock, fascist dictator and president of Media Corporation, "the world loves catastrophe and I love money, particularly more money."
However, not everyone is bitter that Gustav didn't deliver on his or its promise of complete and utter destruction.
"I'm glad my F.E.M.A.-provided house didn't go the way my trailer did when Katrina hit," said Juan Gonzalez, child-raping and rent-free living New Orleans resident. "I might have been forced to fend for myself."