Written by Fish
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Topics: Alaska, Sarah Palin

Wednesday, 3 September 2008

image for Alaska Secedes From The Union
The Republic Of Alaska Is Born

Juneau AK-- The forty-ninth state abruptly seceded from the United States today. The Alaskan state legislature voted unanimously to leave the union. Sarah Palin will be sworn in as the first president of the Republic of Alaska in a noontime ceremony in Juneau. She will be leaving the US presidential race today.

Alaskans said they were furious with the disrespect shown to their governor and their state from the mainstream media. They will respond "militarily" to any more slander. The Republic of Alaska immediately nationalized all US military bases and oil production facilities. They will also join OPEC.

President Palin says she will begin a nuclear program to protect the young republic. She named Ron Paul as her Vice President. President Palin says the Republic of Alaska also claims western Canada and the states of Washington, Oregon, Montana and Idaho. Heavy fighting was reported along the border with British Columbia this morning.

Obama was surprised to learn Alaska was ever in the union. He smiled at the news, girlishly tossed his head and giggled: "Well, now there's only 56 states, I guess."

President Palin will also construct a wall around the republic, once its borders are secure.

"The people of the United States will get what they so richly deserve. They will have Obama as president for eight years. The wall will keep out the starving refugees. Anyone trespassing will be shot on sight." said the very angry president.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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