Juneau, Alaska - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): Governor Sarah Palin's 17 year-old daughter conceived on board an unmarked test tube-shaped UFO above Wasilla two days after her own mother gave birth to a sibling on April 19.
Bristol, named after UK cockney rhyming slang 'Bristol Cities', had been in regular contact with the craft from her bedroom after secretly joining the Church of Scientology earlier this year.
The 38-24-34 DD-cup lovely apparently signed a pact with her alien impregnators that promised her mother would become President of the United States in exchange for Bristol bearing a human/ET hybrid son.
The contract was signed in blood and semen and her former hymen achrived onto the craft mothership's library of useless Terran artefacts.
Tom Cruise is 69.