Washington - A painstaking worldwide information dragnet by the CIA and FBI has concluded that key El Qaeda leader, Obama Biden, is actively operating in the US planning to openly take over the government by legal means. Security has been doubled at both the democratic and republican conventions to watch out for the fugitive.
President Bush announced that "All US citizens should be vigilant and on the lookout for the terrorist Obama Biden."
While the US is happy with their success in uncovering the plot Bush admits that no known picture exists of the dangerous outlaw and in fact he may be two or more people in keeping with El Qaeda's principle of dividing cells and restricting information to individuals.
Bush continued, "Obama Biden may in fact not even know his whole mission or the other people in his identity if he is more than one person. You can see the problem we are up against. The war against terror changes day by day. This isn't a simple thing like sending out the marines to search out spider holes."
"Obama Biden's chief weapon is not explosives or armaments as we expected but words."
"US citizens should be on the lookout for anybody who uses words, or may use words, in a suspicious manner and report suspects to the department of homeland security immediately."
"Obama Biden is armed and dangerous and is known to use a dangerous mix of seductive optimism and infinite boredom with a touch of Neil Kinnock thrown in for good measure."