Written by Monkey Woods
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Monday, 1 September 2008

image for Sarah Palin's Daughter Bristol Pregnant With John McCain's Baby

Delegates arriving at the Republican convention in St Paul were rocked on their heels today, when the news broke that Alaska Governor Sarah Palin's 17-year-old daughter, Bristol, is pregnant, and unmarried as well!

There were gasps as the word was passed around the convention centre, but Mrs Palin silenced the rumour-mongers by announcing:

"By the Lord, my daughter is going to do the right thing. She's going to marry the father of the child, Senator John McCain!"

Several people fainted, before Mrs Palin's husband Todd grabbed the microphone and, with a bible in his right hand, bellowed:

"Mr McCain is a good man! He may have fornicated with my daughter, but at least he's not a filthy n***a! Give him your support and send him to the White House!"

Mrs Palin had hoped to keep Bristol, who is 5 months pregnant, in the background until after the elections, but, now the secret is out, and being a good Christian, she laid it on the line for the Republican cause. She very nearly raised the roof of the convention centre when she said:

"Mr McCain is the right choice for President, and he is also the right choice for my daughter. Give it up, for John McCain, my son-in-law!"

John McCain is old enough to be Bristol's grandfather, and probably is.

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