DAYTON, Ohio - Republican presidential candidate Sen. John McCain introduced his running mate, Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, at a raucous rally Friday, praising her "well groomed cuticles " and "skill" in arranging matching outfits."
"She is exactly what this ticket needs to take on Michelle Obama, that woman has looks that kill." McCain told supporters in Dayton.
"This is a matter of choices, will it be Hamburger Helper this Tuesday or hotdogs with French fries? I am a working mother and can work through difficult decisions," she said to the cheering crowd of 15,000.
"Standing here I am proof positive that a woman can stick their head through a glass ceiling."
Political pundits say the Republicans have made a shrewd move as they believe Palin can help capture the Alaskan vote which represents .2% of all voters.
The former beauty queen is reported to be a good cook and promises to keep McCain in tip top condition by cooking heart-smart meals for him while he is busy on the campaign trail, "I bet he will love my baked macaroni and cheese!" she gushed."
Republicans secretly say Palin's chief duty in the days ahead will be to make sure senator McCain takes his meds and show him how to use e-mail. Training with defibrillator paddles has also been planned with the paddles cleverly disguised as red, white and blue happy clappers so as to not be too obtrusive at rallies.