Denver CO-- Many Denver hotels and motels are checking their balance sheets today and noticing the red ink. The recent Democratic Convention left the hotels battered, broken, and bankrupt. Conventioneers simply stole everything from the rooms they could. Gutted walls and ransacked lobbies are all that remain of even the toniest hotels.
The Denver Five Seasons Hotel was hit very hard. The Clinton Clan occupied the fifth floor and did unbelievable damage. The Clintons stole towels, soap, bedsheets, rugs, ornaments and a few of the sexier maids. They sacked the hotel much like they sacked the White House when they left in '01.
The Hiltown Hotel was where the Obamas stayed and they left it in shambles. The Obamas stole the small stuff the first night and spent the next three nights tearing out the walls. Copper piping was ripped out of the bathroom causing thousands of dollars in water damage. Electric wiring was also ripped from the walls. The hotel is now condemned as a safety hazard. The Obamas plan to sell the scrap metal for $10.00.
The cheaper motels also were heavily damaged from the demented democrats. The Bed, Bug and Bum Inn, the Toke N Poke Motel and Ye Olde Bumppe & Grinde Inn have all filed for bankruptcy protection.
Mr. Fish is the night manager at the Toke N Poke Motel on Route 69 and detailed the damage there:
"We had a mini-riot the night Obama was crowned Lord And Master Of The Universe. There was so much screwing by so many overweight delgates it shook the roof right off the motel!" said Mr. Fish.
Mr. Fish surveyed the damage and said he will not rebuild. He toked on a joint and checked into the Bed, Bug and Bum Inn. He planned to "forget this nightmare ever happened and go down to New Orleans and relax."