Written by Monkey Woods
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Thursday, 28 August 2008

image for Barack Obama Assassination Plot Foiled
Assassins come in all shapes and sizes

Security men arrested a fat man loitering close to the site where Democratic party Presidential nominee Barack Obama was due to make a speech last night.

The man, in his late forties, and weighing around 400 pounds, was taken away in a police vehicle, losing his shopping all over the road. Witnesses standing nearby said they heard the man protesting his innocence as sixteen security officials bundled him into the unmarked van.

There have been a series of 'assassination alerts' during the last few days, including one where three men with guns were arrested when the moose they were carrying on the roof of their car fell off and escaped in the Denver suburb of Aurora on Sunday.

Police have stepped-up security around Mr Obama this week after it was revealed that information from within the Democratic party implicated an unnamed ex-President's wife in yet another 'assassination plot', but this remains unconfirmed.

Mr Obama's wife, Michelle Obama, spoke to the Democratic party convention this week, and spoke on the subjects of Family, Shared Values, Justice, Obligations and National Unity. She said:

"My husband has a funny name."

FBI spokesman Ron Zimbio said:

"We're keeping an eye on her too."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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