Chappaquiddick MA-- Former pop star Michael Jackson checked into the Chappaquiddick Hospital last week in preparation for a face transplant. Blue-fly maggots consumed most of his facial flesh after his recent acquittal on child molestation charges. Mr. Jackson is now waiting for Senator Teddie Kennedy to die so he can finally have a white face.
Surgery will be performed by Dr. Joe Kopechne. The doctor is the surviving son of Mary Jo Kopechne, who drowned in Senator Kennedy's car in 1969. He bears a remarkable resemblance to the Kennedy clan.
Dr. Kopechne will first need to scrap off the blue-fly maggots from the bones of Michael Jackson's face. The stench of rotting flesh is all over Massachusetts. No pain killers can be used because the operation is too delicate.
Next, the doctor will wait for the senator to drop dead from the brain tumor consuming what's left of his alcoholic brain. He will then rip off Mr. Kennedy's fat face and transplant it to the former pop star.
Dr. Kopechne waits patiently every day at the senator's bedside with a sharp scalpel. As soon as the ailing Kennedy takes his last breath, the doctor will rip his face off.
"We never talk, we just stare at each other for hours." said the patient Dr. Kopechne. "Isn't it great how life works out sometimes."