Denver, Colorado - (Extraterrestrial Mess): A mystery UFO buzzed Denver's Pepsi Center today amid breaking headlines in a Californian celeb paper claiming John F Kennedy Junior faked his fatal 1999 airplane crash.
The La FagHagSlagMag story broke just as the huge, menacing craft swooped down over Michelle Obama's security escort, chasing her limo all the way to the Hayseeds Hotel moments after the televised cringefest endorsement of husband Barack.
"2012 was to have been the year JFK Jr swept into Capitol Hill," the paper's editorial proclaimed.
"Many loyal Dems are stil aggrieved at the lack of an autopsy and the hurried cremation of the tragic pilot."
Dem party bigwigs went into hurrried conclave following publication.
The editorial has reported claims that the President's son is alive and well in a CIA Buenos Aires safehouse, care of a new ID. persona and generous handout from George Tenet.
"He had the Clintons over a barrel. Look out for a whopping great big Obama spoiler later in the week."