On May 10, Spoof reporter Dan Bristol submitted an article in which President George W. Bush is reported to have admitted to reporters during a press conference "I'm an asshole."
We regret to inform our readers that this was, in fact, a misprint. The President did not admit to being an asshole as ealier reported. The President's exact words were, "I'm a fucking asshole."
We would like to apologize for any confusion this may have caused.