Written by Rumplestilskin
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Wednesday, 27 August 2008

image for Most Homelessness Linked to Evictions by McCain

Investigations following Senator John McCain's statement that he doesn't know how many houses he owns have revealed that most homelessness in the United States today is the result of evictions from housing owned by the Arizona senator.

Although a recent television ad said that McCain owns seven houses, and a later report said he actually owns eight, further investigation has revealed that both of those numbers were way too low. Due to typographical errors, the word "million" was accidentally left off of both of them.

It is now estimated that Senator McCain owns between seven and eight million houses. In addition, it has been discovered that that most currently homeless Americans are people who were once evicted from one or another of those houses. Some estimates say that as much as 85 or 90 percent of all homeless Americans became that way as a result of being evicted from housing owned by McCain - usually because they were unable to pay the ever-increasing rents.

Many homeless people have said that McCain actually threw them out of their homes himself, saying as he did "I'm not running a charity here, my friend." When contacted for a comment on these evictions, McCain had nothing to say.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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