Written by Errol Partridge
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Monday, 25 August 2008

A super-secret nuclear weapons project, thought to be inactive since the mid-2000s, has been re-activated and revealed to the world media.

Project: Metal Gear was the US Government's codename for a series of bi-pedal tanks that it was developing in the mid-late 2000's and 2010's. It was thought to be inactive until a press conference called by Secretary of Defence Robert Gates on 30 November stated that Project: Metal Gear - or MG - is to be re-activated in light of what he calls '...an escalation in hostile foreign activity...'

The project was officially deactivated in 2005 when the so-called 'Shadow Moses Incident' occurred in which a lone agent known as Solid Snake thwarted terrorist plans to fire a nuclear weapon at the American Homeland.

The system works by using the Metal Gear (either REX or RAY) as a launch pad for ICBM's, taking away the need for a boost stage in the projectile. The third generation Metal Gear was destroyed at Shadow Moses (by Solid Snake) but was salvaged allegedly by the US Govt. but sources say it was taken by a shadowy, Illuminati-esque group known as The Patriots, who took it to be repaired and kept in a secret location some where in Greenland. The fourth generation (Metal Gear RAY) was designed to be an Anti-Metal Gear Metal Gear, meaning it would be used to destroy MG REX clones after the plans were released on the Internet after Shadow Moses. The original RAY unit was never recovered although the same sources say it was stolen by the Patriots and used as a template to create computer-controled versions for the Navy.

Secretary of Defence Gates also stated that the Metal Gear operating system, called GW, was also used to monitor the Internet for '...threats to National Security.' In short a MG unit could remotely access any Internet site and monitor, block or tamper with it, thus controlling what the masses interprete as the truth.

Surely this is simply another Weapon of Mass Destruction. The only difference is this one is almost alive giving its ability to monitor our every move on the Information Superhighway. Ways some people have shielded themselves from prying eyes and ears range from foil hats to living in a bunker underground. One man went as far as trying to implant himself with a chip to stop the system from entering his brain! The system will go online on July 4th, the alleged Independence Day in America.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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