Denver CO--Hillary Clinton finally conceded her disastrous run for the White House today. She gave a venomous speech at Convention Hall--laced with hatred, obscenities and tears. She blamed everyone but herself.
She began her speech by pointing both middle fingers at the audience of Obama delegates. They all gasped in astonishment. "I've always wanted to do this, you sons of bitches! I hope you all rot in hell!! crowed the former First Lady.
Her daughter, Chelsea, ran up on stage and begged her mother to stop. Chelsea grabbed the microphone and shouted that her mother wasn't feeling well.
Hillary grabbed the microphone back and slapped Chelsea across the face. "You rotten little whore. My God, I hate you! I hated you the moment I saw your ugly face! Now get off this frickin' stage and go get a life!!" she shrieked.
Millions watched on TV as the crazed harridan had a total nervous breakdown and committed both personal and professional suicide. Hillary next focused her hatred at the mainstream media television pundits.
"You people are a trip. You all had it in for me from the start. I don't think any of you like women. I think you're all cowards. I think you're all wussies. I think you're all a bunch of little tight-assed fairies and I despise you all!"
Obama ran to the podium and tried to calm the senator.
"Don't touch me, you son of a bitch!" she yelled at Obama.
She spat a thick, green lump of mucus in his face. The green glob slowly slid down Obama's astonished face and landed on his crisp, tailored suit.
"I've got more stuff on you then I had on John Edwards! Now beat it before I release the video I have on your wife, you f^cking fairy!"
The furious senator then dropped her pink pantsuit, bent over and mooned the crowd.
"Four more years to 2012, you assholes! Four more years! I shall return!" she swore and stalked off the stage.