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Topics: Cars, Detroit

Saturday, 23 August 2008

image for Detroit Produces First Four Wheel All Electric Airbag

Detroit MI, September 2020: A consortium of American automobile makers rolled out their first prototype model of a four wheel all electric airbag. This six passenger car has been built in response to all those adults, who as children were raised in a totally safe environment. They grew up without the benefit of slides, see saws, playing tag or getting scraped knees.

Federal regulations have also mandated the ever increasing number of safety features such as air bags in automobiles, not that this is a bad thing, as are padded dashes and reduction of sharp edges. Front, rear, head, seat bottom, above the windshield and side impact airbags have become standard equipment. However, the weight of the additional air bags has created very low fuel economy automobiles.

This obsession with safety has caused the auto makers to rethink the problem. Instead of putting the airbags inside the car, the car has been put inside the airbags. The new machine's batteries can be charged via an ordinary 120 volt AC outlet in a few hours. The car only goes up to 50 miles per hour, but is really economical as it will get 1000 miles on one battery charge. Paste on solar cell and roof mounted windmill power accessories are currently optional. A sports car version is also being planned.

A few remaining problems that need to be overcome are: easily getting passengers in and out of the automobile; it is wider than the current highway lane widths, such that the entire US Interstate Highway System must be rebuilt; and kids "saying are we there yet" or "I am bored."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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