Gary Glitter, the popular English musician and paedophile, has performed a spontaneous one-night show for airline staff, police and immigration officials at Bangkok Airport on his way back to the UK.
Glitter, real name Shitter, told his captors that he had a "tummy ache", but this condition quickly escalated to a Heart Attack, when he realised not a single shit was been given by the stern-faced Thai officials.
The disgraced ex-popstar was on his way to the UK after having been released from jail in Vietnam, where he had been fiddling with appendages.
Captain Pavarin Chalermsakorn, left, the Head of Immigration at Suvarnabhumi Airport, said:
"He put on quite a show, but it was a show no-one wanted to see.
Mr Shitter is no longer the leader of the gang."