Washington-(Daily Blow)-America, beware! The Evil George Bush is at it again. He has teamed up with Mother Nature in an attempt to steal the nation's attention away from the upcoming 2008 presidential election-which he can't win-by whipping up a tropical storm that even now is ravaging the Gulf Coast of Florida.
Judging by the dire lack of hurricane potential of tropical storm Fay as compared to the monstrous strength of Katrina, apparently old George himself has apparently run out of steam. And Mother Nature seems to have put up a cold front against what used to be the Bush barometer of badness.
When pressed for answers as to why he would unleash such harsh meteorological mayhem on a defenseless, unwitting nation, George merely grinned ala Alfred E. Newman and gushed, "You can't implificate me this time. I'm up to my floppy ears in Afghanistan, trying to pacificate those presidentless folks over there."
Off the record (and out of the wind), the outgoing Oval Office oddball was quick to set the record straight. "Shoot, I concoctified Katrina to guarantee me one more term in office. I did not have sex with that woman, Ms. Nature. I'm still experimentating on a secret mass amnesia event that will allow me to sorta reintroducify myself as the next American Messiah. That way I can get reelected all over gain for the first time. I've codenamed the project Operation Forget-Me-Not. No, wait, Operation Forget Me. No, wait…oh, just forget it!"
But little does goofy gettin' gone George know that the Dems have come up with their own counterplan, someone furtively whispered on tight liberal lips: "the Anti-Bush." While no one has yet seen this mysterious manifestation, anonymous insiders at the "lib-lab" claim the monster-in-the-making resembles a blending of Al Gore and the Incredible Hulk. Good choices to combine, I guess, seeing as both of them are green and for vastly different dubious reasons. Furthermore, while the Incredible Hulk is just big, alkaline Al is big ugly.
But, back to the main story, Fay is stealing headlines and giving the Dems time to catch their breath, circle their wagons and get their ducks in a row behind their ugly duckling candidate. With no platform, no real handle on the issues and no clue about the American social climate, they take heart in knowing that they still have the opportunity to hide behind Fay's dark concealing cloud, forecasting gloom and doom, gleefully pointing to and blaming Bush.