Written by Kenneth Manboobs

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Topics: Iraq, Washington

Tuesday, 25 May 2004

image for Bush's Policy on Iraq Misunderstood, Presents Policy on "A Rack"
Bush: "Lamb, the other, other white meat."

Washington - President Bush's presentation to clarify his Iraqi policy is not to be. Instead there will be a nationally televised walk though of how the President handles "a rack".

Confused by Bush's southern drawl, national news coverage was set up and expecting clarification on the Iraqi situation that has become bogged down. The President has been perplexed at the attention his culinary skills have been receiving for the better part of the weekend. At lunch on Monday, Bush spoke to a small gathering of media at his Crawford, TX ranch before boarding Air Force One and heading back to Washington. "I'm really overwhelmed, I don't quite know what to say. Laura and the twins have always really liked it when I broke out the ol' barbeque but to have a national audience…I'm elited, er, elated."

Stunned members of the press corps could only watch and listen as Bush continued, giving them a brief "taste" of what to expect tonight. "Well I'm going to prepare the Lamb with a bit of basil, fresh basil mind you, and garlic butter. I know people that say you can't mix mutton and ketchup but there's no accounting for taste."

When one of the members of the press covering the event finally did get up enough nerve to ask a question on the impending national address Bush quickly cut him off only offering, "Now I'm not going to give out any more of my secrets. In due time, I will let everyone know about all of my cooking policies. I have a cookbook filled with hard evidence that number 41 - G.W. - is a real Chef Boyardee."

Before boarding Air Force One, Bush seemed to remember this was an election year noting, "I think this will be a good lesson for the American people tonight. We're going to put together an asparagus side dish, and I know not everyone likes eating vegetables, but I always say ‘it is like fighting the war on terror, if you don't do it then how will you ever become big and strong and be able to beat other people up'."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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