Written by Warren Redlich
Print this

Sunday, 17 August 2008

image for US Prisons Full - Bush Declares Moratorium
The future of US prisons?

The heavy pace of criminal prosecutions in the US has finally hit its limit, as all prisons in the country are full. Riehl Dumas, head of the Federal Bureau of Prisons, made the announcement late Friday. as a result, President Bush and Attorney General Michael B. Mukasey decided Saturday to stop all arrests and prosecutions.

The American Bar Association criticized Bush after the news came out. "What the hell are the lawyers supposed to do now," asked famed attorney Clyde Dershowitz. Mukasey responded by pointing out how much money would be saved, and that most of the people prosecuted really weren't any worse than politicians. "Heck, it's not like they were torturing people in Cuba, invading countries, or stealing taxpayer money."

Dershowitz promised an equal protection challenge that he would bring straight to the Supreme Court. "If they're not going to prosecute the new criminals, then they'll have to let the old ones out. Hey, if those bastards are going to mess with my income stream, then I gotta do something with my time."

Make Warren Redlich's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 5 plus 5?

2 13 12 10
74 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more