Written by Robert W. Armijo
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Saturday, 16 August 2008

Los Angeles, California - From the state that touts torts of tolerance with same-sex marriages, legalized medical marijuana and a history of voting two Hollywood "Republican" movie stars to the highest office of governor (but outlawed home schooling), the California court of appeals finally reversed a lower court's ruling outlawing home schooling since last February.

"Parents are free once again to continue to home school their children as they see fit," the justices ruled. "Provided they are marijuana smoking same-sex couples. Otherwise, they will be arrested."

The three-panel court of appeals ruling is seen as blatant bigotry as different-sex non marijuana-smoking couples are still to refrain from home schooling their children altogether.

"Look we're not stupid," said a spokesman for the office of the state superintendent of public instruction. "We know that parents are engaging in more than just educating their children. They are indoctrinating them with their skewed family and religious values instead of ours."

The ruling is seen as a compromise between the state of California's tradition of tolerance and bigotry, say public schooling critics. Ensuring that home-schooled children will receive the same secular multicultural, same-sex sensitivity and narcotic tolerance training as their public schooled counterparts.

"It's all up to the parents," said the office of the state superintendent of public instruction., addressing the reluctance on behalf of parents that home school. "They just have to ask themselves how badly do they want to home school their children then bite the bullet and get bent. The marijuana should help."

Technically, the ruling permits parents to continue to teach their family and religious values, allowing them to pass on their personal belief systems despite having to outwardly compromise them.

"We don't think home schooling will have the same impact under this new ruling," said a spokesman for the Home School Legal Defense Foundation. "For the most part, our parents are not same-sex oriented or smokers for that matter, much less marijuana. So we don't see the ruling as a victory, and we will continue to challenge it in the courts."

"It [the ruling] doesn't even require parents to devoice and remarry someone of the same gender," said the office of the state superintendent of public instruction. "Only that both parents are of the same gender. So a third stage transgendered male [or female] is completely acceptable."

The marijuana does not necessarily have to be smoked, particularly if it is in a restaurant, apartment or public venue, added the office of the state superintendent of public instruction.

"In those situations, it is completely permissible to be taken in pill form or even intravenously. Using our free clean needles exchange program, of course," said the office of the state superintendent of public instruction.

Make Robert W. Armijo's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 multiplied by 1?

8 13 24 1
69 readers are online right now!

Go to top