Tehran Iran, 19 August 2008: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, President of Iran, is resting comfortably in a Tehran Hospital. The doctors will only say that he suffered bruises and lacerations in a fall from a great height.
The CIA tells another story. About a week ago Iranian nuclear scientists told President Ahmadinejad that they finally had a working atomic bomb. However, none of Iran's missile delivery systems were capable of getting the device to Tel Aviv. The bomb must be delivered by an airplane, as it needed final adjustments before detonation. Mahmoud volunteered to be strapped to the atomic device, as the ultimate suicide bomber.
Mr. Ahmadinejad then asked Achmed, his man in Tel Aviv, to buy a global positioning system (GPS) unit and have its coordinates programmed for Tel Aviv. Achmed went to David's Electronics shop and purchased the GPS unit. He then shipped this package back to Tehran, via Fedex.
The operation was initiated two nights later, with astounding results. Mr. Ahmadinejad strapped to the bomb was ejected from the airplane at 5000 feet, screaming "Khomeini" or maybe "dummy!" He landed in a pile of donkey shit in the Tehran Zoo, which cushioned his fall. The bomb did not explode and an Iranian conducted forensics investigation later revealed that the bomb was a dud. The MOSSAD 36 brand GPS unit was also found to be programmed with downtown Tehran coordinates. The whereabouts of several Iranian nuclear scientists is currently unknown.