Written by John Carroll
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Topics: Satan, Conference

Monday, 24 May 2004

image for Comedy Central's Deal With Satan Ends

Satan, the Lord of Darkness, told reporters that his deal with the popular channel Comedy Central has ended at a press conference earlier today.

Satan, who normally has been in close ties with Comedy Central, seemed regretful but firm in his statements. "I hate to see such a good relationship come to an end." He said. "It's been a good few years. But as I looked at their schedule recently, and it hit me - Even my powers, unfortunately, have their limits."

The details of the contract with Comedy Central, which had previously been shrouded in mystery but highly discussed during the duration of the contract, were made public afterwards. As Satan helped Comedy Central's popularity rise despite declining worth of their shows, Comedy Central would in turn broadcast reruns of Crank Yankers and Reno 911 directly into Hell.

Comedy Central was rumored to have gone to many famous religious figures before deciding on Satan. Loki, Mara, and Hades were among those rumored to have been approached with but declined the deal. At the time, though, Satan said he was, "desperate for a new means of torture for the damned souls".

Despite the ending of the deal, Comedy Central remains optimistic. "We've got a great new strategy for the upcoming Summer and Fall seasons." One enthusiastic executive told reporters. "We're going to cut The Daily Show and Conan O'Brien, then use the funds to order new episodes of The Man Show and Mad TV, and maybe even bring back Primetime Glick!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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