Los Angeles CA, August 11, 2008: Officers of the LAPD raided Harry's Colossal Burger Emporium on Vine Street tonight. This fast food restaurant is illegal and must close in accordance with a newly passed LA City Council resolution.
Activist Liberals, who know what's best for all the rest of us mortals, have forced passage of this feel good resolution banning any new fast food restaurants within the City Limits of LA. The law went into effect August 1, 2008. The Do-Gooders say "inner city folk are just too fat and this obesity epidemic must be stopped for their own good."
Rodney "Fat Ass" Booty was appalled "at people telling him what he should not be eating", as he woofed down two Big Macs (BMs), a double order of fries and a thick shake.
Sammy "Taco" Rodriguez said "that since the ban went into effect our Barrio gang has been running illegal BMs into the city from the rest of LA County and they are selling like hot Tamales."
Fifi LaTush spokeslady for the LA Working Girls Association said "business is very bad as nobody wants to eat us any more, since everyone is looking for an illegal back alley BM to munch on."
On condition of anonymity, an LAPD spokeswoman said "crime is running rampant in LA as all our manpower is busy hunting down purveyors of illegal beef patties." She then chuckled saying "the jet stream will probably blow this current Liberal inflicted pox to the Eastern Seaboard."