Written by AAJetMan
Print this
Topics: Nancy Pelosi

Friday, 15 August 2008

image for Pelosi Brain Tumor Rumor Tanks Oil Prices
Pelosi: Anti-Societal Behavior may be Physiologically Induced

Wall Street oil speculators ran for cover recently amidst rumors that US Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi had a brain tumor.

Fearful that Pelosi's absence would allow the lifting of the US ban on off-shore drilling, oil speculators fiercely covered their positions.

Speculators can make money betting that demand for oil would far exceed supplies, confident that the US Congress would keep a lid on the country's vast oil reserves.

But once the Pelosi rumors hit, speculators fearfully liquidated, and prices promplty retreated 20%.

"We can't take the risk" commented Nick Jett, a recently capitulated speculator.

"With Pelosi out this supply side could take off. It would be catastrophic for those of us long oil", referring to the investment strategy benefitting from increasing oil prices.

The vast majority of Americans disagree with Pelosi's refusal to allow the US to develop its resources and create jobs. Nonetheless, Ms. Pelosi refused comment from her Malibu Beach time-share during the Congressional recess.

Psychologist Howard Weinstien diagnosed it "extremely rare for a person without physical malady to exhibit activity so damaging to millions of compatriots."

An expert on anti-societal atrocities, Weinstein added "last century we saw such behavior a couple of times. But this would be the first case I've observed it this side of the Atlantic, if indeed Ms. Pelosi's is somehow strangely not a physiological disorder."

Make AAJetMan's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 2 multiplied by 4?

1 8 20 21
54 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more