Repub candie Johnny McC found himself in a kerfuffle or was it a falafel as his pandering to Middle East Arab contributors and Red Neck Middle American football collided.
Campaign observers have found that a certain Arab American family has been dividing their mega donations for McCain among the entire clan and its pets and livestock. Thousands of dollars have been given to the candidate who wants to see his wife topless by preschool age twins Osama and Binladen. A flock of goats donated a few million and the family's sucker fish, Sadaam Hussein chipped in a big contribution.
McCain accepted the bribes graciously without considering when the favor would be called in. Well, it did not take long to say the least. The very next day the Presidential candidate formerly known as hostage planned to capitalize on the Marshall College plane crash tragedy turned lucrative football film by a campaign arranged "pep talk" from the man who even as a young man had trouble walking and chewing tobacco at the same time( an admission requirement to this day at Marshall).
Last minute demands from the unnamed Arabs brought pressure on the Marshall College administration from McCain higher-ups. The final deal was as slimy as an oil slick in the Arabian Gulf. McCain can keep the money. He will give the pep talk at Marshall that will bring big bucks from football obsessed alumni and Arab sheiks that wouldn't know or touch a pigskin if their life depended on it.
The catch was Marshall College will be named from now on as Ma Al Sharif University. Plus, Omar Sharif will be the football coach, ad infinitem.