Written by James Peters
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Monday, 24 May 2004

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Senor and McClellan: very, very happy

(WASHINGTON) Confirming rumors that have been swirling from the Beltway to Baghdad for months, White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan and Coalition Provisional Authority adviser and spokesman Dan Senor acknowledged their plans to tie the knot later this year.

In a brief letter posted to the couple's Web site over the weekend, McClellan and Senor wrote, "We are very, very happy together. We are wildly compatible. In fact, we're so similar, it's almost like we're interchangeable and that's a little scary. We thank our friends and family for their enduring support. Beyond that, there's no further comment to be made at this point in time."

According to friends, the pair met during a White House press gaggle in 2002. But it wasn't until a chance encounter at Camp David last spring that the relationship went into overdrive. "They were like a couple of Smurfs. It's still totally electric to be around them," confides Senor's sister, Alexis. But not everyone is predicting a smooth voyage on the sea of love. "Danny and Scott are professional talkers." notes Dan's stepmother, Candice. "To make this marriage work, they're going to have to learn how to listen for once. I just hope they're up for the challenge."

Washington insiders claim the relationship has been transformative for both men. "Scott is less smug now that he's with Dan. He's still an evasive, sniveling prick, but there's a certain frivolity to his delivery these days, and that's new," says a White House reporter who has known the couple for years. "Scott has always seemed like such a sad, insecure person. I think Dan's love is finally beginning to turn that around."

Senor will remain in Baghdad until sometime after the "transfer" of "sovereignty" on June 30th, while McClellan will be busy with the Bush-Cheney "re-election" effort during the summer and fall. The nuptials will almost certainly take place in Boston, though friends are keeping mum about the exact details. Quips one of McClellan's White House co-workers, "That's a state secret! No comment!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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