Written by ej moore
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Topics: Texas, mountain

Sunday, 23 May 2004

image for George Bush falls down, goes boom
Close-up of Band-Aid preferred by Bush.

TEXAS - President Bush is recovering today from minor injuries caused over the weekend by a fall from a mountain tricycle at his Texas ranch. Speculation is that incident was intentional and Bush was merely practicing for his November fall.

According to a Secret Service spokesperson, the president was wearing a helmet and mouth guard as he attempted to deftly navigate the challenging terrain of his personal obstacle course. The course features life-sized cut outs of Democrat John Kerry, and the rigorous pace at which the president was pedaling seems to have taxed his navigational skills.

"One minute he was up and the next he was down," said SS agent, Buff Boyington. "Fortunately, I am well trained in tricycle incidents so the rescue went smoothly."

An eye-witness speaking on condition of anonymity revealed that Laura Bush was observing from the sidelines and, moments before the incident happened, the president had shouted to her, "Do you like my steering?"

"Mrs. Bush told him she didn't like it and he immediately slammed the tricycle into the course's safety wall," the witness stated. "He then screamed at her ‘What happens on the course stays on the course!'"

Al Gore, who missed his stint as president due to a glitch in the computer touch-voting test of 2000, told reporters, "This is just another example of what happens when George Bush tries to pedal something."

The president's physician reported that Bush was fine but shaken. The doctor added that the president was alert throughout the aftermath of the incident and firm in his resolve to have Jesus-themed Band-Aids applied over his scratches.

In related news, Johnson & Johnson announced in a press release that they are stepping up production on their Christian bandage line and the company plans to send a special shipment of them to U.S. troops in Iraq.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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