Written by News Jam3
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Topics: church, Priest

Sunday, 17 August 2008

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An American priest has outraged his parish by taking them for fools after it was revealed that he had an alternate motive for wanting everyone to close their eyes when r.

Smoking Jones, a New-Yorker priest, admits to using the time when everyone in his church had their eyes closed praying to muck about. "I just used to start small" he explained "I used to eat a sausage that I had hidden behind the font or something like that, but then I was making them have their eyes closed for longer and longer and the pranks got worse".

Father Jones claims that whilst his parish were deep in prayer he would dance in front of them, bring his boom box in from his car and listen to hip-hop on full volume, shout 'I hate you!" in the faces of the praying children, smash up the furniture in the church with a hammer, have a BBQ and more. He only got found out when a small girl got suspicious of the hour long mass consisting of nothing more than silent prayer and decided open her eyes to find father Jones laying of the floor in women's clothing pretending to swim in front of his oblivious parish.

Mr. Jones claims he is quitting his job as a priest to follow his true dream "after this incident I have realized that I am bored with my faith, I think I want to have a go at being a crime-a-nil (criminal)" says Jones.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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