Republican presidential candidate John McCain today sharply criticized his rival, Barack Obama, for having once advocated a policy that McCain said would've led to the end of the world.
"My friends," McCain said, "if we had done as Senator Obama wanted and not sent more troops to Iraq as part of The Surge, the Andromeda Galaxy would've begun to collide with the Milky Way by now. Our sun's path through space would've been altered, and the Earth would've been rocked by new gravitational forces and threatened by deadly asteroids."
"We're safe now," he continued, "but no thanks to Senator Obama. The end of the world, predicted to occur in the year 2012 by the Mayan calendar, has been averted thanks to The Surge. However, if Obama's policy had been followed there would've been no surge and we would still be facing the predicted apocalypse. Meteors that have now veered away from us would've continued on their trajectories straight towards our planet."
McCain concluded his speech by saying: "Senator Obama told you what he thought you wanted to hear, but I am telling you the truth."