DC - Republican presidential candidate John Sidney McCain the 3rd revealed today that Senator Barack Obama has never visited America's ally Pala'u.
"Pala'u was a steadfast support of George W Bush's invasion of Iraq," explained McCain. "For Obama to ignore this key remaining ally shows his lack of experience in foreign affairs.
"In contrast, I am well acquainted with the situation on the Iraq-Pala'u border. "In fact, if I am elected, I will deal with the terror threat of Pala'u by bombing it back into the stone age!"
Pundits agreed this is a major scandal that, like so many others, is certain to doom Obama's chances. "Senator Obama may claim he can learn things by 'reading' and 'using the internet'," said Republican media embed Karl Rove. "But Presidents don't do that. George W Bush doesn't read or use the internet, and look where that's got us!"