Written by Kirsty Walker

Print this
Topics: hip hop, Bling

Friday, 9 November 2001

image for World Recession Hits Bling Bling

The International slow in economic growth has finally hit the hip-hop community, as financiers report a 23' drop in bling-bling since July. Based on figures for the last fiscal year, the rate of bling-bling has dropped for the first time this decade. The global recession is blamed, though domestic influences such as the dumping of P Diddy by J-Lo may have indirectly contributed.

The recession has seen artists such as Lil' Kim, Dr Dre and P Diddy himself tightening their belts in preparation for a further slide in growth. Staff at Jay Z's favourite restaurant reported that, rather than his usual 6 bottles of Crissy, the rapper opted for a glass of the house white. The economic downturn has also seen Lil' Kim wearing a gold-plated choker adorned with Cubic Zirconias to a recent movie premier. Reports of a drive-by shooting conducted from a Honda Civic are as yet unconfirmed.

In the City, traders are optimistic that pick-ups in the prices of Gold and "Ice" are a sign that the bling bling situation will soon be upgraded from "nasty" to "whack". In the meantime, P Diddy's spokesperson has stated that Puff is no longer All About the Benjamins, but will be All About the Franklins until further notice.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 3 multiplied by 4?

3 7 12 4
66 readers are online right now!

Go to top