The United States of America was hit by a massive attack of satire today, in a move that shocked the civilised world.
Waves of satire, followed by irony and self-deprecation, swept across the eastern seaboard, and devastated whole communities of unwary residents.
'We didn't stand a chance', said Maryland resident Ignatious von Kometskinski the Fourth, 'the satire hit us with no warning!' And another New Englander added: 'I was just sitting down to my regular lunch of 32 burgers and 8 pounds of fries, with jalapenos on the side, when the satire hit. Now I'm gonna have to be winched out of my home. Again.'
Of course, the world was really really horrified to learn that the USA has been attacked by satire, as until now it's only been attacked by fake bird flu, paranoia about Mexicans, and the CIA. But now this is the real thing, and analysts are expecting Americans to elect an adult President in 232 years' time.
Wall Street has moved to Nippon.