Written by Monkey Woods
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Saturday, 19 July 2008

image for Police To Question Leonard Cohen Over Man's Death
He should have gone to the fair!

Police in Delaware are to interview singer-songwriter, poet and novelist Leonard Cohen after a man died in his own home, seemingly after listening to a lethal concoction of Cohen albums.

The unnamed man from Harrington, DA, was said to have been 'a bit of a ladies' man' who had been spurned by his current girlfriend on the way to the Delaware State Fair. According to neighbours, he returned home, and started to play music loudly until after midnight.

Officers of the City of Harrington Police were called, and arrived at the property around 1am, where they found the man dead, apparently by his own hand.

Police officer Nicholas Cave said:

"We found the victim dead at the scene. He had eaten, probably sausages, and had died after listening to Leonard Cohen's Ten New Songs, a particularly miserable album."

There were also copies of The Future, Various Positions and Songs From A Room albums strewn all over the floor.

Cohen has, for more than fifty years, written morose and melancholy songs which focus on subjects such as religion, sexuality, isolation, suicide and death.

Officer Cave told reporters:

"This man appears to have Cohened himself to death."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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