Washington - Today Pentagon officials announced the formation of the newest branch of military service, The United States Morale Corps. Joining the Coast Guard, Navy, Marines, Air force, and Army, the Morale corps will provide members of the other services a little piece of home... or at least a piece of ass during long deployments.
Modeled after the Russian military's soviet era Morale brigades, the service will provide horny Soldiers, Sailors, and Marines with a woman who won't say no.
"This is a vital addition to our nation's defense," said Joint Chairman of the chief of staff of the Army, General Dickey Hertz during the press conference. "How can we expect our young men to fight at their peak performance when they haven't been laid in a year or more?"
The service has been diligently recruiting since December with most recruits coming from places like Nevada and New York City. All prospective recruits will undergo rigorous health screening and after a short basic training they will be deployed around the globe to places such as Iraq and Afghanistan to service the troops fighting the war on terror.