Sizerville Pennsylvania - Amish cattle breeder Abe Withoos proudly announced a new hybrid vehicle today that he says will "Take over da roads of America, Yar!"
Abe says the new vehicle is the result of years of trial and error and successful breeding and combines a conventional automobile chassis with a linearly aligned front-mounted bovine powertrain and steering system he calls "da cow".
"Yar, we tried lots of breeds but da bes seems to be a Hi-Brid Aberdeen Angus and British Frisian. Its a feisty mix dat British and Scottish, Oh My!" Dats where yer Hi-Brid comes in, Yasir! It's not about seeing da bird in the sky and saying Hi, Nosir!"
"Patience it what did it. My golly, it was like being a bit of Thomas Edison to work dis out dats fore sure. It's a good ting da cows were helpin us along da way! Firs we tried der Limousin but it was too long fer your basic transport and I would had it to buy a new hat. Der New Jersey mooed with a strong accent and she looked a bit mean at our young ones so we were scared for da family and we backed right off it, ya know, Yar!"
Withoos says the new hybrid vehicle will make use of the thousands of abandoned SUV vehicles that he thinks will litter America once oil goes over $150 dollars a barrel.
Purchasers of the new vehicle will be impressed with the surprising number of features and options. The basic model, the Old Elijah, comes with dual nostrils, four stomachs and silage injection. Options include genuine cowhide leather upholstery, a split rear seat and oscillating motion insect control.
Abe is proud of the fuel efficiency of the Old Elijah.
"Yar, this vehicle doesn't use less gas, it makes gas."