New York NY, July 2008: A study conducted by the United Nations (UN) Committee on Global Warming has concluded that global warming (GW) affects penis size.
This startling revelation was published in the New York Times personal dating section. A graphic illustrates the UN committee's findings. The curve has the same upward turning shape that correlates with the famous GW hockey stick curve. The Y axis values are increasing penis size in inches and the X axis values are increasing temperature in degrees Fahrenheit.
The significance of the UN' study result is far reaching. It explains why birth rates in cold climates are always less than in hot climates, why the term "Latin Lovers" is relevant in hot climates and why expletives like "dick head" and "big prick" are also common in hot climates.
After seeing Miley Cyrus's nude pictures, she was asked by the UN Committee on Global Warming to conduct a female study of global warming as it affects female genitalia.