(Shanghai, China) China's President Hu Jintao stated he was "outraged" at President Bush's lifting of an executive order banning the US from drilling off US shores. Jintao countered that China already acquired the vast deposits.
"That Gulf of Mexico oil is ours!" shouted an incensed Jintao. "We've been drilling there for many months, and have a contract with (Cuban President Raul) Castro. America get out!!" Jintao demanded, raising his fist.
"The United States is trying to steal our resources" Jintao further fumed, firmly afoot next to a statue of Mao Tse Tung in Tianemen Square.
Although the oil deposits - likely one of the world's largest, untapped reservoirs - lie well within US coastal territories, the USA has virtually ignored them. Rather, American export billions of dollars per year in exchange for Middle Eastern oil.
Meanwhile, Cuba benefits from America's inexplicable negligence. Castro staked his US waters claim in late 2007, and immediately sold rights to China for a reported US$400M , plus royalties estimated at US$100M annually by 2010.
According to international correspondents, a rampaging Jintao promptly contacted Castro, demanding an explanation.
Cuba's leader calmly responded "Don't give it a second thought, Jin'." Castro collectively tweaked his mustache, glanced along his stately oak desk, and smiled at a photo of US Congress' Nancy Pelosi. "I've got it all under control" he chuckled.