Philadelphia PA-- Caroline Kennedy was abruptly fired today after a searing racial confrontation with Michelle Obama.
Ms. Kennedy headed the committee in charge of picking a vice presidential candidate for Barack Obama. She was staying in a suite at the Four Seasons in Philadelphia. Michelle Obama went to the suite with some papers for Caroline to sign and knocked on the door. Caroline opened the door and assumed Michelle was the maid.
"Try vacuuming a little better this time. Also, there were fingerprints all over the bathroom mirror. Where do they hire people like you from?? Let me talk with your supervisor to let them know what a terrible job you're doing." said the snippy former First Daughter to the future First Lady.
"Why you f*ck*ng white bitch!" said Michelle, and threw the papers in Caroline's fat face. "You cracker! Honky white bitch, I'm gonna smack some sense into you, bitch! You think I'm some dinky little hotel maid you can just push around, I'll fix you! Skinny little white ass bitch!"
Michelle then kicked Caroline in the shins, smacked her across the face and ripped out a big, thick chunk of her Kennedy hair. Hotel security was alerted to the altercation and quickly broke up the beating.
"Well, they just look so much alike." said a contrite Caroline Kennedy a few hours after being fired. "Obama looks just like the man who reads my electric meter. I think I'll get another job anyway. Maybe Uncle Teddy needs a funeral planner or something."