Written by Kinda
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Topics: Submarine, Disaster

Thursday, 20 May 2004

It has always been reported that the RMS Titanic hit an iceberg and sunk taking 1,523 souls with her, however, the last expedition conducted May 12, 2004 has revealed damning evidence that a submarine in the area of the disaster sent 2 simultaneous torpedoes into her side.

Much has been said of Captain Edward J. Smith's final and fatal command on April 15, 1912 when The RMS Titanic sank off the coast of Newfoundland, Canada, 2 1/2 miles down where the pressure is 6,000 pounds per square inch.

Upon reaching the sea floor, and searching an area of the ship that was, until now, unreachable to the robotic pods used to date to scour for artefacts, it was revealed that 2 compressed torpedoes were still imbedded within the hull. When brought to the surface and examined, there was no question to their authenticity, however, they turned out to be NOT the typical torpedo used during that time in history.

The torpedoes are said to be made of an indestructible type of foam rubber, similar to that used in NERF (tm) balls made in the early 1970's. When sent to independent laboratories in Nuntiyuktat located in Greenland, it was ultimately discovered that they were not NERF balls but, in actual fact, foam rubber falsies of the feminine nature used for added OOMPH back in the day.

The case is now closed.

Again.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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