'I like the way he talks, what can I say?' said Senator McCain at a press conference this afternoon. He was announcing the latest addition to his campaign team - Reverend Jesse Jackson.
Jackson has recently been in the news for his muttered comments about Barack Obama ('I'll cut his nuts off') and McCain feels this is exactly the tone he needs to attract more rednecks to his presidential campaign.
'Physical violence against black people plays very well in the deep south states. We want to engage that demographic and get them to vote for us. It's tough keeping them away from the crocodile wrassling for a day but if we can just get them to a voting booth, we know which way they will go.' said McCain.
Barack Obama made this high-pitched comment 'I am disappointed to see Rev Jackson go. He has my balls in his briefcase and I need them back.'