Attractive waists have replaced toxic wastes as the biggest problem clean towns in America seem to face.
The town of Fairview fought a successful battle against toxic wastes in the past few decades, and was finally able to attract tourists to its new cleaner chemical-free beaches. However the number of accidents involving locals have tripled since the wastes were cleaned up.
The newer tourists are more attractive with better curves. The locals are injuring themselves as they get distracted by these curves. Some drive themselves off cliffs unable to concentrate on the roads. Others have gotten into brawls as they ogle at the women. Marital discord is also at an all time high.
"Its a trade-off between dying of cancer or living life dealing with beauty.", said Mayor of Fairview to reporters as he unveiled the Accident Critical Unit at the Fairview hospital.