Washington, D.C.- At the White Press Conference this afternoon, President George Bush announced his plan to combat global warming. The plan, entitled "Fuck Al Gore," calls for the designing of 2 large-scale air conditioning units, one placed on states Oregon, California, and Washington; and the other to be placed on all the 'evil liberal' north-eastern states.
"Okay, now my plan of 'Fuck Al Gore' is a simple plan to err… combat this here 'Global Warming' thingy. I see the road to success as simply as the Iraq War's was; all we need to do is build two giant air conditioning units and place them on all those crappy blue states. I mean like really people, who gives a crap what California has to say? I'm the President and they should be damn happy I have a plan to fight this stupid 'Global Warming' crap."
This is a stunning turn in the President's stand on the Global Warming issue. He has been as liberals put it "ignoring" the climate change to focus on the "important" issue, Iraq. The President went on further to state the air conditioners will cool the U.S., eliminating the effects of Global Warming. "Duh, when it's hot what do you do? You turn on the AC unit that's what!"
"Now, here is the best part; both air conditioners will be made in China by child slaves (man their asses are luckily, I want some freakin' slaves!), and they will run on oil! More oil equals more money in our economy, so my plan will solve this stupid 'Global Warming' crap that that douche Al Gore keeps ranting about, and the economy."