Chicago - Barack Obama got a haircut today, touching off a frenzy of speculation among pundits about the significance of this latest scandal.
"He's thrown his hair clippings under the bus," said Fox White House news reporter Tony Snow. "What sort of man abandons his faithful trimmings so callously? It just goes to show."
Obama just can't decide what length of hair he wants," said Sean Hannity. "One day it's a little long, the next day it's a little short. How can you trust someone whose hair is not always the same, kept pomaded and coiffed by a team of makeup men? Like me?"
"Haircutgate is a turning point in the campaign," said CNN correspondent Karl Rove. "No man with a visible combover has won the White House in fifty years. McCain is fighting for this oppressed minority!"
Republican candidate John Sidney McCain III was awakened for a response. "Our enemies got hair cut in Chicago?" he is quoted as saying, "Bomb it now!"