Written by Schmoker
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Friday, 27 June 2008

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President Bush said he was also envious of tactics his buddy Vlad "The Impaler" Putin uses to control his people.

(Washington, DC) - President Bush today said that he was watching the election in Zimbabwe "very closely," and hoped to pick up more reelection tips as the process continued. Referring to the current president of the African nation alternately as "Mugumby" and "Magooby," Bush said he was "in awe" of the tyrant's bold reelection strategies.

Bush's comments came during a press conference being held in the Rose Garden to announce honors he was bestowing upon deceased civil rights workers killed while registering American blacks to vote during the 1960's. While taking questions, President Bush was asked about the reports that citizens of Zimbabwe were being threatened with violence in order to force them to go to the polls and vote for reviled Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe.

"Yeah, I heard about that "Mugumby" deal," said Bush. "I think Condi was telling me about it. When I heard, I just sat stunned for several minutes. I cannot believe the RNC or I never thought of doing that here. It would have made things so much easier back when I lost/won to Al Gore."

"Leave it to a slick ass bastard like "Magooby" to come up with something like that," the President said, before concluding, "I'm in awe."

Given the alternate pronunciations of the dictator's name used by the President during the press conference, White House reporters were split over whether the President was confusing the President of Zimbabwe with Mr. Magoo or Gumby.

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