Written by Flaminroids
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Topics: Alcohol, Law

Wednesday, 25 June 2008

Salt Lake City, Utah - In an attempt to make the beehive states already confusing liquor laws even more mind blowing, Utah governor Hyrum Smith III introduced the "Sippy-cup law".

The law states that any alcoholic beverage must be consumed from a container with an opening no larger than a diameter of a pen.

The governor stated "We think it will curb drunk driving and other alcohol related incidents."

Hyrum is also an active member of the LDS church.

When asked if his religious views influenced his decision, the governor quickly pulled a blue pill from his vest pocket, ingested it, and was pronounced dead later at LDS hospital.

Meanwhile on the other end, local drunkard Todd Willard was furious. "How the hell do they expect me to get a decent buzz let alone get completely hammered? By the time I finish my beer whats left of my liver will have healed and taken away all the alcoholic goodness!"

Utah is the only state so far putting this law into effect as of Late summer 2008. Utah also requires that alcohol not be consumed or sold on odd days, Months ending in "Y", and LDS holidays such as Osmond day, Archuleta day, and Smithmas .

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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