New York, NY - Today it was announced that radio shock-jock Don Imus will be stripped of everything black.
The Congressional Black Caucus has drafted legislation which states, "To wit, As Mr. Imus has been given chance after chance to be a civilized, white, European-American sympathetic to the struggles of the African-American, Afro-American, Black-American, Mulatto-American, Mixed-American, Black, Colored, and Negro communities but has still continued his vicious, unwarranted, mean-spirited attacks upon said communities, it is hereby declared, in the year of our Lord two thousand and eight. In the sixth month and twenty-fourth day of said year, Mr. Don Imus will no longer be allowed to say the following: black, grey, dark-skinned, mulatto, negro or any other term, derogatory or otherwise and will no longer be permitted to look upon anyone of African descent from this day forward. Also, Mr. Imus will no longer be permitted to use the color black. This includes black fabrics (used in his attire), black hair-color (borrowed from Warner Wolf), black housepaint, etc., etc."
When asked his opinion, the Rev. Al Sharpton stated, "It's about time someone took this fool to task! We'll be watching you Don Imus!"
Don Imus could not be reached for this story.