Written by victor nicholas
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Topics: Homeless, Holiday

Wednesday, 25 June 2008

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New York - Now that hot summer days are upon us those well-off look forward to a weekend in the Hamptons or Poconos. Rising costs of living have led to a novel exchange program to make summer holidays more affordable for all, remarkably even for those without a cottage, time-shares, share-houses or houses at all.

Home-owners accustomed to high-tail it from the city to the cottage have seized upon a clever way to defray holiday costs by renting out their house short-term while away to the homeless and those living on the other-side-of-the-tracks.

Called Life-Styles of the Middle-Class, the program is masterminded by loudmouth know-nothing Robin Leach who plans on a new television show of the same name to be aired on the hard-of-hearing channel.

More remarkably yet, did I say remarkably, it's been discovered that the program has been in place for years without dose-rich-folks knowing about it. While city folk have been leaving their houses for holidays a well-placed network of homeless people have been keeping tabs on the number of cars in driveways. When cars are gone for a couple of days the homeless move right-in and park their shopping carts in their place, three, sometimes four, deep. Once settled in with their Safeway bags they assume the posh life-style of a home-owner: reading junk mail, replacing toilet paper on bathroom rollers and and eating from frozen dinner trays with actual food in them - if only for a short while.

Always shrewd shoppers, the canny homeless have been driven insane with anger over the idea of having to pay for accommodation they're used to getting free.

A guerrilla movement is in place to defeat the new program by secretly moving into empty summer cottages in the Poconos during winter months instead.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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