Written by Chuck Barber

Print this
Topics: Americans, Research

Monday, 17 May 2004

image for Americans Prefer Laughing Hyena to Kerry; Bush
President Hyena

A new Zogby Research poll released Sunday night shows that by a 55 - 45 margin Americans prefer a laughing hyena to John Kerry, but that by a 65 - 35 margin those same voters prefer Kerry to Bush. When matched against a laughing hyena the hyena leads Bush 82 - 18.

Unfortunately for both candidates it did not seem to matter which hyena opposed them. Randy a very popular hyena from the Cincinnati Zoo out polled Kerry 70 - 30 and Bush 90 - 10, while even Louie the hyena, from Seattle, who has eaten three young children who accidentally fell into his enclosure out polled them both by a 52-48 margin. This was true even when pollsters told those questioned that Louie was a crazed baby killer who often leaps at young zoo visitors.

Informed of the poll results before the release the Kerry camp dismissed it as just another poll at a time when people are still not focused fully on the election. The Bush team simply responded "Grrrrrrrrrrrr!"

Make Chuck Barber's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 4 multiplied by 4?

7 16 4 21

Go to top